My brain tried to kill me, twice

[NOTE: A personal story this week, because I want to explain why I haven’t sent out a newsletter for a month. Back to regular content next week.]

Three weeks ago, I had a stroke.

Just jumping right in there, I know. But life is short.

They call it a subarachnoid hemorrhage, which is just a fancy name for bleeding in the space that surrounds the brain.

Since I had a brain tumor removed less than two years ago, I feel like this is the second time that my brain has tried to kill me.

I feel like if it tries a third time, it thinks it will get a Subway sandwich discount card or something. But it’s not smart to kill the host. I’m the thing that carts this brain around and gives it sugar. Just stop it, brain.

(People seem surprised that I am making jokes about this. But it’s an insane situation. The only logical approach seems to be finding the humor in the insanity.)

I spent two weeks in the hospital, had three surgeries, and spent a week in a rehab hospital. I came home on Thanksgiving Day. Quite something to be thankful for.

They shaved half my skull, all the better to highlight the bulge on the right side of my noggin that looks like I’m smuggling a small flashlight in there. That’s from the shunt that diverts fluid from my brain into my belly.

At least they removed the shiny metal staples that outlined the Frankenstein’s monster scar I now carry. I was telling people it’s too bad this happened after Halloween — I could have really scared some kids.

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I know, considering my age, how much worse this could have gone. I could be profoundly disabled or dead. But those geniuses at UW Hospital saved my life yet again. I am so grateful to them, and that Madison is a world center for brain injury treatment.

My biggest deficit is my balance, and how I have zero energy right now. My brother took me to do a couple errands the day after I got home, and just standing for a few minutes in Walgreens absolutely wiped me out.

I will be writing quite a bit more about this experience in the weeks ahead, and how it intersects with job hunting. But for now, I just want to thank all the friends and family who helped me get through this insane experience. They have been endlessly supportive and loving and it means the world to me.

Ironically, the night before this happened, I posted on Facebook and Twitter that I needed to take a break from social media. That was true, but I didn’t mean this.

You know the story of the tortoise and the hare? I’m the tortoise. I’m going to get through this, step by step.

So back off, brain.