Getting discouraged and giving up

Photo by Fernando @cferdophotography on Unsplash

Do you ever get discouraged?

Do you ever want to give up?

Do you look at your latest rejection letter, your millionth online job listing, and just want to pack it in?

Yeah, me too.

Me. Too.

When I left my last job, a secure place where the main thing wrong was it wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, I had no idea how difficult it was going to be.

Now I know.

You know it’s not personal. You know it’s not about you. But after the 100th rejection, it starts to wear on you.

You start to wonder what you’re fit for. You wonder if anyone will hire you ever again.

You start to obsess over the problems you face, rather than the opportunities still open to you.

I know. I’ve been there. In a lot of ways, I’m still there.

That’s a big reason why I started this newsletter — because I wanted to turn this difficult time in my life into something positive.

So I spend a lot of time working on content for you (and by extension, for myself). Actionable ideas. New perspectives. Interviews with interesting and thoughtful people in the space.

But the cloud is still there.

Want to know why I won’t give up?

Because four months ago I had a stroke that could have easily killed me or left me profoundly disabled. But it didn’t.

Last week I wrote the story of my stroke, if you’re interested.

And two years ago, I had a brain tumor removed.

The universe keeps trying to tell me: keep going. The future is not set. Tomorrow is not guaranteed — but that’s why it’s worth it. That’s why life is worth living. Because of the mystery. Good and bad.

My impulse is to forget all that and get depressed and feel like nothing matters. To just crawl into a ball and withdraw. But the universe has other plans for me, it seems.

It keeps kicking my ass and keeping me alive.

If you’re reading this, you’re part of a very small audience. But even if I never get another subscriber, I’m not giving up. I’m not quitting. Because this — you — are worth it.

I often say these days, in the story of the tortoise and the hare, I’m the tortoise.

We will get through this, together.

Thanks for being here. It means the world to me.