Are you comfortable?
If you are, maybe you shouldn't be.
I’m trying to write a book.
And I had no idea how hard it was going to be.
It’s incredibly hard.
I think about the book pretty much 24/7. And 95 percent of those thoughts are stressful. Thoughts like:
I can’t do this.
I’ve never written anything long-form like this before.
How can I get people to talk to me?
Is this book even worth writing?
Will anyone even read this book if I manage to finish it?
My brain isn’t working.
Who am I to write a book at all?
I thought I would enjoy this process. But so far, I’m not.
The editor I’m working with in this book writing bootcamp was talking to me the other day about all these negative thoughts I’ve been having.
And she had two important insights that I’m trying to take to heart.
Don’t focus on the forest, just the trees. Take each task and break it down as far as it will go. Don’t think about the huge task of writing a book. That’s too intimidating. Think about just getting one chapter outlined. Or one interview done. Focus on the steps, not the marathon ahead. One tree at a time.
Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. This is a tough one for me. I’ve spent my life running from conflict and change. But if we can be OK with being uncomfortable, that means we can grow. Growth is hard – just tell my brain and the anxiety dream I had last night. It was a doozy.
Staying in our comfort zone – something I have dedicated most of my life to in the past – means that we will never make a change. And isn’t that what this newsletter is about? Making positive changes that make a better life for ourselves?
I’ve written before about the times when I managed to make a big jump. And those jumps are important. But what this book project has taught me is that big changes rarely come all at once. They come because of millions of tiny steps in the right direction.
Even those small steps can feel intimidating. I know. But if we never feel uncomfortable, we’re not growing.
I wrote about 2,000 words for the book this week. And I have three book interviews scheduled.
Hey, only 25,000 words to go!
Onward and upward.
Hearing from you
When have you made a big change? How did it feel? How did you deal with the negative thoughts, the impostor syndrome? Let’s support each other.
I think the advice about the trees and not the forest is a good one. Also: Fear Not. That's the advice I would give college-self, if I could go back in time. Good advice for anyone, I think.
Great advice! It's certainly easy to be comfortable, and stretching out of our comfort zone is important if we want to grow, as you note. I'm in the midst of that now in an essay-writing class, which feels much harder than what I do here on Substack. I'm going through the same feelings and having the same thoughts as you are. But this feels like an appropriate stretch.
There are many other things I'd also feel uncomfortable doing — like founding a company, taking up public speaking in a big way, starting a podcast — that would also be stretches but would not be building on my strengths and interests. In my opinion, those would be stupid things to make myself uncomfortable over. I think it's important to make the distinction.